I wish I could punch you in the face.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
