oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
