I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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