Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
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