Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
