I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize
