Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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