grandma shit on top of the toilet
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
