Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
