Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I should be sponsored by Trojan
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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