your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
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