Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
