Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
