after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize