this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
