If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
