And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Randomize
