Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
All I want is dick and wine.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
