got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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