WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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