I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
