The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
