bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
