fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
