omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
