"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
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