hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Randomize
