Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
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