Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
