Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
This is the high leading the old right now
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
