This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
