dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
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