I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
God I need to hump something, right now.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
