we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
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