Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
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