How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
