I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
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