I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
