he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
