Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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