nut hugger
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
