at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
