my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
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I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
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