I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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