I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
