why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Randomize
