Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Randomize
