nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Randomize
