First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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