This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I checked into jail on foursquare
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
My vagina is very pro this idea
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
