First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
