Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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