I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
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